Well get ready for it. Here it comes. The humidity, and the heat.
After the past few days, this could be an idication that we are headed into a hot humid spring and summer. Regardless, of whether we are or not, we should be ready for the heat and humidity. What are you going to do to reduce your heat and humidity in your home. One very important thing you should know is that you do not want to have humidity level to exceed 60 %. Then you may start developing mold in your basement. Your will start to see and feel it on paper products. Such as books,photos and posters, just to name a few. Then your clothes and furniture will feel moist. Then you will see it on the wall near the floor where the air is the heaviest and contains the most water content. Also remember that your concrete basement floor is always colder then the warm moist air around it. Alway remember that cold air is heavy and warm air is light. That is why your second floor or attic is always hotter than your basement. Also remember that when warm air meets cold air it will turn to condensation. That is why your cold water supply lines and toilet will sweat on the hot humid days. Also if you have a tile floor in the basement it could sweat and create water on the surface, be careful it could be slippery. As well, remember that if you do not remove that moisture out of your basement OR crawlspace that you get mold. Mold is there before you even see it. It is a health hazard as well. People can develope allergies or get sick from it.
So you say one of two things. Big deal or lets deal with it and lets control it.
Here are just a few things you can do to improve your living and building health of your home.
1. Get the air moving in your basement or crawl space, it help dry it out. Buy a couple of portable fans
and put one at each end of the basement. Keeping them on low will work fine, unless really humid.
2. If it is really cool or moist in your basement or crawlspace turn the heat on a little bit to equalize the
tempurature within the house.
3. Turn on the furnace fans and draw some of the cold air out of the basement to the upstairs. This will
also prolongs using the more expensive air conditioning.
4. Install a humidex, costs about $500, and it acts just like a dehumidifier, but costs less to operate and
you do not have to empty the holding container.
5. Buy an energy star rated dehumidifier and hook it up to a floor drain.
6. It is also a good idea to open a window little bit to allow for fresh air.
7. If you have to turn on the air conditioner, this is likely the most expensive way to cool your home, but
it works. It will also remove a lot of the moisture out of the air.
Some other small things to consider.
1. Make sure your attic/roof has adequate ventilation.
2. If you are going to reshingle your roof, do not use black or dark shingles, because they absorb heat.
3. Plant trees and plants that may block the hot summer sun. If you go under a tree in the summer it
always feels cooler.
4. Limit your use of incandescent lighting, because most of the energy used is wasted in heat. Be careful
though when using CFL bulbs because when they break they are toxic.
5. Shade your air conditioner to keep the hot sun off it.
6. Close your windows and window covers during the day.
7. Open your blinds and windows during the cool of the evening. Try to get a cross breeze going.
8. Place a fan near the window, not in the window. Watch for rain, because the fan may draw the rain
into the house.
9. Keep extra water and drinks in the basement before putting in the fridge. If you put them in warm or
hot it takes much longer to cool down, and you will NEED them.
These are just a few things to do that will help you stay cool. When you are ready to sells your home or buy one bring me a long and I will give you some great tips as to how to keep your home cooler in the summer and warmer in the winter. I would love the opportunity to help you or your referrals out.
Thanks for taking the time to read this.
Joseph Talbot, ASA, SRES, AGA
Sales Representative
Remax Clearview Inc. brokerage.
705-733-5821
Check out my website for other great information.
http://www.josephtalbot.ca/
Monday, April 11, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
New Mortgage Rules Coming on March 18th
Wondering how the new mortgage rules are going to affect you? Here's some info from the Ontario Securities Commission.
March 2, 2011
There has been an ongoing conversation about good and bad debt in the news lately – is there a difference and how does it relate to Canadians’ personal situations? The mortgage meltdown in the U.S. and the all-time high consumer debt levels in Canada have also raised an alarm.
The Canadian government is now weighing in on the issue. Finance Minister Jim Flaherty recently made an announcement on new mortgage rules that serve the dual purpose of protecting the overall economy as well as nudging Canadians back towards lower personal debt levels.
What happened to the days of mortgage-burning parties? Not so long ago, it used to be a big point of pride to finally own one’s home. And by “own”, it was meant that not a penny was owed, unlike today when “owning” seems to mean living in a house with a mortgage, no matter how large that mortgage may be.
Starting March 18, 2011:
So what do these changes actually mean for homeowners and first-time homeowners?
As our government has taken a look at our finances and taken measures to restrain our borrowing, we too should be taking action. Assess your debt – good or bad – and make a plan to pay it off. The best debt, after all, is no debt – there can be no argument about that.
March 2, 2011
New Mortgage Rules – What Do They Mean?
Related Resources
The Canadian government is now weighing in on the issue. Finance Minister Jim Flaherty recently made an announcement on new mortgage rules that serve the dual purpose of protecting the overall economy as well as nudging Canadians back towards lower personal debt levels.
What happened to the days of mortgage-burning parties? Not so long ago, it used to be a big point of pride to finally own one’s home. And by “own”, it was meant that not a penny was owed, unlike today when “owning” seems to mean living in a house with a mortgage, no matter how large that mortgage may be.
Mortgage Rule Changes
The Government of Canada’s mortgage changes impact both new and current homeowners. The three rules of the program are as follows:Starting March 18, 2011:
- The maximum amortization period will be reduced to 30 years from 35 years.
- The maximum amount Canadians can borrow in refinancing their mortgage will be lowered from 90% to 85% of the value of their home.
- Ottawa will withdraw government insurance backing on lines of credit secured by homes.
Starting April 18, 2011:
So what do these changes actually mean for homeowners and first-time homeowners?
First-Time Homeowners
First-timers will need to either buy a home with more money down, or one worth less than they could previously afford. The difference between a 30- and 35-year amortization on a $200,000 home can vary depending on the interest rate; nonetheless, the average extra cost for a homeowner is expected to be about $100 more per month. So they must either save more up front, increase monthly payments, or both. The Government of Canada is trying to ensure that more of these buyers own their homes sooner, lowering risk and the amount of debt they are carrying.Refinancing Homeowners
Homeowners who are looking to refinance their homes, consolidate debt or make home renovations will not be able to access as much money as they did before. This is because, under the new rules, they will only be allowed to refinance up to 85% of the value of their home – down from the previous limit of 90%. This means that for a home valued at $200,000, refinancing it at 85% will allow the homeowner to access up to $170,000, while previously they would have accessed up to $180,000.All Homeowners
The Government of Canada’s withdrawal of insurance on home equity lines of credit (HELOC) will likely mean an increase in interest rates at the banks. As the Government is no longer backing these loans, banks will need to bear more risk and it is anticipated that they will pass this on to homeowners in the form of higher interest rates.As our government has taken a look at our finances and taken measures to restrain our borrowing, we too should be taking action. Assess your debt – good or bad – and make a plan to pay it off. The best debt, after all, is no debt – there can be no argument about that.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Making $$$ From Your Home
Need some extra cash to fund a special project or pay down some debt? Barrie Lebow, president and founder of Senior Housing Council, The Real Estate Academy Inc., has some great ideas for using your home to make money. His focus is on meeting Real Estate needs in the senior market and I will post more of his articles in the future.
If you’re reading this column, chances are it’s been awhile since you sold lemonade from a stand in front of your house. But entrepreneurial spirit never dies. So here are some grown-up ideas for making money from your home.
Empty nesters, for example, could rent a room or basement suite to students. Even better, by carefully screening potential applicants you could find a student who’s sufficiently trustworthy to leave in charge of the house while you’re away. Or he or she might volunteer to help with household chores in return for a reduced rent.
And what about that garage you don’t use? You could always rent it as a parking spot, but you could also clean it out and rent it to someone who desperately needs storage space or a place to work on a hobby such as restoring old cars. If you are considering renting out the garage or basement for storage, why not take it one step further and offer shipping supplies. Small home-based industries seldom have the space to store or pack their products for shipping.
Here’s a way to make money from Canada’s role as Hollywood North. Film companies comb local registers and scout neighbourhoods looking for just the right place to serve as a backdrop for their movie. You can register your home with the local film liaison office. One acquaintance made over $1,000 a day renting his upscale property to a U.S. film company. They put the house back exactly as they found it, and aside for the inconvenience of having to vacate the premises for the duration of the shoot, nothing was lost, broken or stolen. Added bonus: you’re may just catch a glimpse of your favourite star.
For those with a now empty in-law suite, why not consider renting out the kitchen to a catering company or other food prep organization? You also could rent a basement room as a photography darkroom or a soundproof garage to local musicians for practices.
Don’t overlook the garden. You can grow vegetables, flowers, even turf, on the back 40 and sell the results online or through local landscapers.
Then there are the home-based businesses: bed & breakfasts (particularly in demand in tourist areas); baby sitting services or daycare; pet boarding; esthetics; music lessons and tutoring; antiques (great if you have an old barn or large shed on your property)… the list could go on and on.
For entrepreneurs willing to take risks, there are opportunities in buying real estate as an investment. Many now-millionaires started life with one duplex, living on the top floor and renting the lower. With your expenses paid by the renter, you can buy a larger duplex or a triplex to rent out. The secret, says one wealthy entrepreneur, is to make sure there is money in your pocket after you’ve covered all your expenses. When you’re assessing an investment, determine whether the rent you can charge will pay not just for the mortgage but renovations and maintenance, property taxes and utilities, as well as a certain percentage set aside for potential vacancies and bad debt. Then make sure that still leaves with you a small profit.
Ask the seller for documentation (or rent rolls) which will tell you how much each unit is rented for. You can even ask for past rent history. Then check going rates online or in newspapers. Rents shouldn’t be too high (which discourages renters) or too low (‘there’s something wrong here’) for the area.
Finally, for empty nesters who are reluctant to sell the family home, why not rent it and downsize to a condo or smaller home? This has the advantage of maintaining the home in the family (perhaps the kids will want to buy it from you when they’re settled and more financially secure). It also has the disadvantage of making you a landlord. Depending on the tenant, the condition of the house, the area and a whole host of other factors, you may be taking on midnight phone calls, angry neighbours and potential damage to the building.
Other downsides of making money from your home: Government regulations affecting home-based industries may make it hard to set up a pet-boarding facility or catering kitchen. Parking for customers may be a problem for home businesses such as esthetics. Film companies, and particularly ad agencies who want to film commercials in your home, may not be scrupulous about returning the house to its original condition. Tenants could damage your property. Students could be noisy.
But then, even selling lemonade from a stand in front of your house years ago probably violated some health regulation. It didn’t stop you then. Will it now?
This information is brought to you by your Accredited Senior Agent, a specialist in the housing needs of older adults. Your ASA is an experienced real estate professional who has graduated from a special education program focusing on the needs of seniors. For information, please visit www.thesenioragent.com or contact, Barry Lebow, President and Founder, Senior Housing Council, The Real Estate Academy Inc., providers of the Accredited Senior Agent designation, 416-784-9806 ext. 107
Making money from your home
Make $$$ from your home - It’s not just about selling lemonade
By Barry Lebow (or Frances O’Flynn)If you’re reading this column, chances are it’s been awhile since you sold lemonade from a stand in front of your house. But entrepreneurial spirit never dies. So here are some grown-up ideas for making money from your home.
Empty nesters, for example, could rent a room or basement suite to students. Even better, by carefully screening potential applicants you could find a student who’s sufficiently trustworthy to leave in charge of the house while you’re away. Or he or she might volunteer to help with household chores in return for a reduced rent.
And what about that garage you don’t use? You could always rent it as a parking spot, but you could also clean it out and rent it to someone who desperately needs storage space or a place to work on a hobby such as restoring old cars. If you are considering renting out the garage or basement for storage, why not take it one step further and offer shipping supplies. Small home-based industries seldom have the space to store or pack their products for shipping.
Here’s a way to make money from Canada’s role as Hollywood North. Film companies comb local registers and scout neighbourhoods looking for just the right place to serve as a backdrop for their movie. You can register your home with the local film liaison office. One acquaintance made over $1,000 a day renting his upscale property to a U.S. film company. They put the house back exactly as they found it, and aside for the inconvenience of having to vacate the premises for the duration of the shoot, nothing was lost, broken or stolen. Added bonus: you’re may just catch a glimpse of your favourite star.
For those with a now empty in-law suite, why not consider renting out the kitchen to a catering company or other food prep organization? You also could rent a basement room as a photography darkroom or a soundproof garage to local musicians for practices.
Don’t overlook the garden. You can grow vegetables, flowers, even turf, on the back 40 and sell the results online or through local landscapers.
Then there are the home-based businesses: bed & breakfasts (particularly in demand in tourist areas); baby sitting services or daycare; pet boarding; esthetics; music lessons and tutoring; antiques (great if you have an old barn or large shed on your property)… the list could go on and on.
For entrepreneurs willing to take risks, there are opportunities in buying real estate as an investment. Many now-millionaires started life with one duplex, living on the top floor and renting the lower. With your expenses paid by the renter, you can buy a larger duplex or a triplex to rent out. The secret, says one wealthy entrepreneur, is to make sure there is money in your pocket after you’ve covered all your expenses. When you’re assessing an investment, determine whether the rent you can charge will pay not just for the mortgage but renovations and maintenance, property taxes and utilities, as well as a certain percentage set aside for potential vacancies and bad debt. Then make sure that still leaves with you a small profit.
Ask the seller for documentation (or rent rolls) which will tell you how much each unit is rented for. You can even ask for past rent history. Then check going rates online or in newspapers. Rents shouldn’t be too high (which discourages renters) or too low (‘there’s something wrong here’) for the area.
Finally, for empty nesters who are reluctant to sell the family home, why not rent it and downsize to a condo or smaller home? This has the advantage of maintaining the home in the family (perhaps the kids will want to buy it from you when they’re settled and more financially secure). It also has the disadvantage of making you a landlord. Depending on the tenant, the condition of the house, the area and a whole host of other factors, you may be taking on midnight phone calls, angry neighbours and potential damage to the building.
Other downsides of making money from your home: Government regulations affecting home-based industries may make it hard to set up a pet-boarding facility or catering kitchen. Parking for customers may be a problem for home businesses such as esthetics. Film companies, and particularly ad agencies who want to film commercials in your home, may not be scrupulous about returning the house to its original condition. Tenants could damage your property. Students could be noisy.
But then, even selling lemonade from a stand in front of your house years ago probably violated some health regulation. It didn’t stop you then. Will it now?
This information is brought to you by your Accredited Senior Agent, a specialist in the housing needs of older adults. Your ASA is an experienced real estate professional who has graduated from a special education program focusing on the needs of seniors. For information, please visit www.thesenioragent.com or contact, Barry Lebow, President and Founder, Senior Housing Council, The Real Estate Academy Inc., providers of the Accredited Senior Agent designation, 416-784-9806 ext. 107
Thursday, February 17, 2011
May be a little late for Valentine's Day . . .
. . . but here it is anyway. Came across this blog the other day and thought it was quite interesting and relevant, today, as the senior population continues to grow. Some big decisions ahead for families . . .
Through specialized coursework and experience, I have come to truly understand the diverse issues that may be facing seniors and their families. With compassion, sensitivity and a realistic approach, I would be glad to assist your family in this process. Feel free to contact me, 705-733-5821 or jtalbot@remax.net.
Written on February 14, 2011 – 7:39 am | by Audrey Miller My colleague blogged previously on collaborative law as an approach to consider in resolving estate disputes. I think this is a perfect topic for Valentine’s Day. Many, if not most couples, are initially in love. I think most families are started because of love yet what happens to the strength and love of a family over the years is questionable. We often see conflicts that result in litigation and feuding with a lot of money and time being spent. I don’t know what happens within families nor can I provide comment on how to avoid it. What I can suggest is a process that brings family members together in terms of planning and providing care for their older family member.
Hiring a Geriatric Care Manager to assess the individual and to provide an objective analysis of what the older individual needs, is an excellent starting place. An in home assessment will look at their: functioning, including physical, cognitive and emotional components as well as any caregiver related issues. The areas of need are identified with recommendations outlined with their best interests as the priority. This report serves as a blueprint for planning the care of an older individual. While families may continue to disagree at least there is a way to make sure the mom or dad’s needs have been appropriately documented with recommendations and resources identified.
Eleven Reasons to Hire a Professional Geriatric Care Manager:
1. We are professionals who have the knowledge, training, and experience to do what you are trying to do without it.
2. We can do in 2 hours what it would take you 2 weeks to do.
3. We know how to get around that “I’m saving for a rainy day” syndrome, when your folks are drowning in their problems.
4. We’re much cheaper than the cost of plane fare if you have to fly into town when your parents say “everything is fine” but you know it isn’t.
5. We can provide advice on which nursing/retirement residence is right for your parents.
6. We can make your parents hear what you have said over and over again, but they refuse to listen because to them, you are still a child.
7. We can tell your annoying sibling to keep quiet, but graciously.
8. We’ve helped families a lot worse than yours.
9. Your dad can’t push our buttons.
10. Next time you want to hang up on your mother, you can tell her to call us.
11. We’re available, so you don’t have to be.
( Adapted from “Inside GCM,” Winter, 2005, Phyllis Brostoff)
Happy Valentine’s Day. –Audrey Miller
Through specialized coursework and experience, I have come to truly understand the diverse issues that may be facing seniors and their families. With compassion, sensitivity and a realistic approach, I would be glad to assist your family in this process. Feel free to contact me, 705-733-5821 or jtalbot@remax.net.
Written on February 14, 2011 – 7:39 am | by Audrey Miller My colleague blogged previously on collaborative law as an approach to consider in resolving estate disputes. I think this is a perfect topic for Valentine’s Day. Many, if not most couples, are initially in love. I think most families are started because of love yet what happens to the strength and love of a family over the years is questionable. We often see conflicts that result in litigation and feuding with a lot of money and time being spent. I don’t know what happens within families nor can I provide comment on how to avoid it. What I can suggest is a process that brings family members together in terms of planning and providing care for their older family member.
Hiring a Geriatric Care Manager to assess the individual and to provide an objective analysis of what the older individual needs, is an excellent starting place. An in home assessment will look at their: functioning, including physical, cognitive and emotional components as well as any caregiver related issues. The areas of need are identified with recommendations outlined with their best interests as the priority. This report serves as a blueprint for planning the care of an older individual. While families may continue to disagree at least there is a way to make sure the mom or dad’s needs have been appropriately documented with recommendations and resources identified.
Eleven Reasons to Hire a Professional Geriatric Care Manager:
1. We are professionals who have the knowledge, training, and experience to do what you are trying to do without it.
2. We can do in 2 hours what it would take you 2 weeks to do.
3. We know how to get around that “I’m saving for a rainy day” syndrome, when your folks are drowning in their problems.
4. We’re much cheaper than the cost of plane fare if you have to fly into town when your parents say “everything is fine” but you know it isn’t.
5. We can provide advice on which nursing/retirement residence is right for your parents.
6. We can make your parents hear what you have said over and over again, but they refuse to listen because to them, you are still a child.
7. We can tell your annoying sibling to keep quiet, but graciously.
8. We’ve helped families a lot worse than yours.
9. Your dad can’t push our buttons.
10. Next time you want to hang up on your mother, you can tell her to call us.
11. We’re available, so you don’t have to be.
( Adapted from “Inside GCM,” Winter, 2005, Phyllis Brostoff)
Happy Valentine’s Day. –Audrey Miller
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Wouldn't we all like to Save Money???
Here's the article:
Trim your grocery bill:
Save money on your food purchases with these easy tips.
Benjamin Franklin said, "A fat kitchen makes a lean will," and he was right. I was behind someone at the grocery store who was shopping with her son. They had two grocery carts jammed full of all kinds of prepared food, junk food, comfort food and a few of the necessary staples. While I'm usually not that interested in what people are buying, I was shocked when their food bill rang in at more than $450! It didn't look like they were preparing for a party, either. This seemed to be what they were buying on a regular basis.
Many people now spend more money every month on food than they do on their car! That makes buying groceries the second-highest monthly expense after paying your mortgage or rent (Emphasis added by Joe). Many people don't think to include food in their financial planning because it's a necessity and we need it to survive; however, this is one area where people lose control every week and overspend.
Saving just $20 a week on your grocery bill can save you more than $1,000 a year. Saving $60 a week could help you save more than $3,000 a year.
I first met Kimberly Clancy when we did a story on Canada AM about trying to save money on your grocery bill. Clancy runs her own website, www.frugalshopper.ca. The site is a wealth of frugal knowledge, where Canadians can go to find out about sales from coast to coast, free shopping advice, coupon tips and ideas on how to shave money off their grocery bill. I went shopping with Clancy and the two of us had the exact same shopping list. The money she saved was amazing.
Without using coupons, I spent $133.89. Using coupons, Clancy spent $23.45. That's a savings of $110.44.
Imagine saving $110 on your grocery bill! On this visit Clancy did use some freebie coupons she was saving up for our demonstration, but she says she routinely saves about 25 per cent or more on her grocery bill every week using coupons, flyers and watching for sales.
Clancy says, "I think many people spend way too much money on groceries, especially when you go to the premium grocery stores. These high-end chains will have beautiful layouts, fancy displays and better lighting, but most premium outlets also own a budget grocery chain that has prices that can be 30 per cent cheaper and the food comes from the same warehouse."
How to save; shopping dos and don'ts
One way to save on your grocery bill is to buy store or generic brands instead of national brands. They are usually much cheaper and just as good. (National brands have to hike their prices up to pay off those expensive TV commercials and magazine ads.) Beans that are canned for more expensive national brands are the same beans that go into the cans sold under the store's name brand. I'll never forget touring a bottled water factory and seeing water going into different bottles with different labels. It was the exact same water being bottled, but the prices ranged from $0.89 a bottle to $1.59 for the same H2O! Often, no-name camera film, batteries and blank CDs are also manufactured by the same companies that produce the more expensie national brand. It just makes sense to try the cheaper brand, and if it works or tastes fine then stick with it.
One of the best ways to save money on your grocery list is to make sure you know the prices of the products you use often. "You won't know what a good deal is if you don't know what the prices are. Just because it's on sale doesn't mean it's a bargain. When you use coupons and other promotional offers you'll get even more savings," says Clancy. The best sale items will be on the front and back of the flyer and when there is something on sale you use regularly, stock up!
Warehouse shopping and buying in bulk are also good ideas, but you can easily walk into a warehouse store with the best intentions to save money and walk out with only eight items that cost you $150, so care must be taken here as well.
Grocery shopping dos
• Do plan ahead
• Do use meal plans
• Do get organized
• Do avoid impulse shopping
Grocery shopping don'ts
• Don't shop on credit
• Don't buy name brands
• Don't buy junk food
• Don't buy food you're not sure you'll eat
• Don't shop when you're hungry
Admittedly, I'm not someone who would spend much time clipping coupons and many of us would find it hard to make the effort or find the energy to bother. While manufacturers issue about 2.6 billion coupons a year, only 97 million coupons are redeemed. Many people who do clip coupons are stay-at-home parents, retirees and students, but Clancy says everyone can benefit. "Everyone has to eat and anyone who wants to save money can. Food is something we have to buy anyway and you should try to find savings, especially if you are spending hundreds of dollars a week on groceries." With all her coupon clipping, Clancy says she spends only about $50 a week to feed her family. "If you cut back a little you can save a little, and if you cut back a lot you can really save a lot. It's that simple."
By Pat Foran
Published by Canadian Living.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Wiarton Willie Predicts An Early Spring
 |
| No Shadow in the Midst of Today's Snow Storm |
Dust off those paint brushes and start making your to-do lists.
Typically, the Real Estate market begins to improve in early spring. With all the snow we've had this year, people will be eager to get outside when the snow begins to settle.
If you're thinking of selling this spring, now is the time to start thinking of what you need to do to get your house ready. If you need any ideas to get you started, give me a call @ 705-733-5821.
So get in your last few ski and toboggan runs and get to work.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Ark Building in 2003
I just came across this humorous anecdote I clipped from the Creemore Echo in 2003.
This is sooo relevant in the business of building today.
The earth was wicked and overpopulated. The Lord instructed Noah to rebuild the Ark and save two of every living thing, along with a few good humans. “Here’s the blueprint,” said the Lord. “You will need to hurry, for in six months I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights.” Right on schedule six months later the rains started coming down. But when the Lord checked in with Noah, he was weeping in his flooded yard, and there was no Ark. “Noah,” He roared; “Where’s the Ark?”
Forgive me, Lord,” begged Noah. “Things have changed. I needed a building permit. I’ve been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbours claim that I have violated the zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limit. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision. Then Transport Canada and the Department of Highways and Hydro wanted a bond posted for the future costs of moving power, trolley, and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark’s move to the sea. I argued the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of this! Getting wood was another problem. There’s a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the potted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls, but no go!”
“I started gathering the animals, but then an animal rights group sued me. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. As well, they argued the space was too restrictive and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in so confined an area.”
“Environment Canada decided that I could not build the Ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your proposed flood. I’m still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I’m supposed to hire for my building crew. Meanwhile, the trade unions want me to hire only union people with ark building experience. To make matters worse, Canada Customs and Revenue Agency seized all of my assets, claiming I’m trying to leave the country illegally as well as with endangered species.
So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least ten years to finish this Ark.” Suddenly, the skies cleared, and the sun began to shine. A rainbow stretched across the sky! Noah looked up in wonder. “You mean you’re not going to destroy the world, Lord?” he asked.
“No,” said the Lord. “Your government already has!”
Editor's note: This modern fable was recently shared with the Big Heart Seniors and sent on to the Echo by Edith and Bob Veale.
Author unknown.
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